Sorry, I killed Pages

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Dash

I Ireland
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I'm basically drowning in a pool of emotional clusterfuck. Depressed, tired, stressed, nervous, self-conscious, negative, just shit.

A combination of shit which may or may not include school, the temperature, and other useless shit.
Smile because the future is always bright =D You'll graduate one day, get a good job, be filthy fucking rich, etc. :)
 

Dash

I Ireland
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Supreme Dictator
I can say it because it's true. You're super smart, going for some sort of engineering degree. You'll have no problem getting a job.

Hell, I just graduated with a degree in creative writing and I got a decent job. You're better off to begin with.
 

megumi

SPAM BOT
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I can say it because it's true. You're super smart, going for some sort of engineering degree. You'll have no problem getting a job.

Hell, I just graduated with a degree in creative writing and I got a decent job. You're better off to begin with.
I'll respond to this in detail tomorrow...

...until then, going to bed; good night.
 

megumi

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I can say it because it's true. You're super smart, going for some sort of engineering degree. You'll have no problem getting a job.

Hell, I just graduated with a degree in creative writing and I got a decent job. You're better off to begin with.
Okay... my response.

My brother graduated with an engineering degree, getting his Bachelors AND Masters in 5 years total. It took him 2-3 years before he found an entry-level job at GE (though during those years, he did have a job, but not in his field, obv). There were multiple factors behind this, but the matter of fact is that I have a fear of not being able to get a job because someone before me who is also very similar to me had trouble. My brother, with his recent phone interviews for possibly a new company (trying to get from GE to Rolls-Royce so he can get closer to home), stated that nobody wants him, but once they get him, they don't want to let him go (let's just say his initial job was a one-year contract, it's been 2? 3? years and he's still at GE Energy still as a contractor (but not the same 1 year contract)). ...in short, bad first impressions (interview), but reliable worker.

Sadly, I can't say about the latter for me, but I know I am HORRID at first impressions, and awful at communications. And I would probably fuck up every interview I would walk into.

What does this mean?

A engineering degree from Purdue University may mean jackshit if I can't prove myself to be better than all the other THOUSANDS of students here. (So what Purdue is one of the nation's best engineering schools?)

Also, I was lucky to maintain a 4.0 during my first two semesters; the day before yesterday and partially yesterday when I was at the peak of depression, I was kind of afraid I can't maintain that this semester. I feel better now, though I still doubt. @_@ BUT I DOUBTED MYSELF DURING THE FIRST TWO SEMESTERS. SO I JUST HAVE TO DO IT. (See, I feel way better today? Must be my goddamn period ending.)

Yeah, sure, I know I shouldn't compare myself to my brother, but having to see someone before me go through all this kind of puts a fear into me.

But at the same time, one of the main thoughts that were going through my head the past two days were not regarding post-graduation, but surviving school in general. Can I actually stand being in school for however long it takes? My mom even wants me to go to med school, and what would that mean for me? Can I really stand being in school for THAT FUCKING LONG? Like, I was having doubts and was balancing my options with like trying to get out with a BS in ME ASAP (if I push it I can finish it in 3 years) or go with my personal plan with BS in ME with EE minor or even go for what my mom wants which is premed on top of BS in ME and then med school afterwards.

Like. Fucking future is fucked up.

Yeah, after all of it, I will probably get a good job with fucking amazing pay.

But... it's the process of making choices.

I know, totally first world problem.

Totally shouldn't be a problem.

But you know, being smart also means a shit ton of choices.

Guess what I'm bad at?

Making choices.
 

megumi

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I mean, that's basically the crossroads I'm at.

And I think I have to decide between EE minor and premed (or both, if I fucking feel like I can take more schooling, or nothing as with my screw-everything plan) before signing up for classes for next semester.
 

megumi

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Yes, all the paths will end up with a "bright future", but...

...

...that doesn't stop me from having trouble making choices.

...and breaking down from the inability to make choices.
 
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